Editorial Report 13b

     The following blog post will discuss changes that I made to my rough draft (or Rough Cut). It will talk about changes to both form and content. The post will discuss how these changes communicates the content more effectively.

Rough Cut

But please, don’t be close minded. The new experiment seems to have left a few things, or people, out.

The bad

As the saying goes, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

The College Board confirmed this motto when they increased the difficulty of

their golden egg.

Re-edited Selection

            But please, don’t be close minded. The new experiment seems to have left a few things, or people, out.

Maybe it is bad

Source: 2014 Hobsons Inc.

         Contrary to popular belief, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. The College Board confirmed this motto when they increased the difficulty of their golden egg.

    1.     As one can see, there were a few changes made to the content of these sections. The first is the edit to the wording of the second sentence. The Rough Cut’s version of this sentence was not very coherent. This is because the odd grammar took away from the overall meaning of the statement. The change allowed the sentence to flow more smoothly. Thus, the audience could focus on the meaning of the statement (rather than being distracted by the grammar). Another change in the content of the rough draft can be seen in the image. This comment discusses/implies that the SAT is more difficult than it was before. The content change communicates the idea that the new test is harder. This is communicated more effectively because the comment is made by a student (most likely in high school). The audience will be able to better relate to this information, and thus be more engaged with the QRG.

     2.     One form change can be seen in the variation of the title of the section. If we were to examine the first sub section of the QRG, we would be bale to infer that edit to the rough cut forms somewhat of an on going thought. This makes the reader more eager to read what’s next, thus engaging them/presenting the content more effectively. The other form change can be seen in the inclusion of the image. The image serves as a relatively easy way to access evidence. This makes the QRG, as a whole, seem more “user friendly” (as images make for an easier read). The image will draw the reader’s attention, which will engage them with what the image conveys. Because the image conveys the main claim of that section (that the test is harder), the content is being portrayed more effectively.