Local Revision: Variety

1.     I used a lot of simple sentence constructions. The sentences started with a subject and the verb came immediately after. I think I balanced it out by other sentences that started with prepositional phrases and other sentences that were complex. I think I have enough variety that the writing flows well.

2.     Typically, I think the paragraphs transition nicely from idea to idea. Each paragraph starts out with a general sentence that connects itself to the one before it and add evens more to further the piece and build up the details of the controversial subject to the argument of the controversy.

O'Rourke, Alan. "Too Busy to Improve - Performance Management - Square Wheels" 10/22/2014 via flickr          Attribution 2.0 Generic

3.     I think my range of vocabulary is somewhat limited in terms of variety. The subject is rather scientific, so I often repeat words while describing the subject, and I think it gets somewhat repetitive. I think that this is merely related to the part where I discuss the methods of CRISPR. I believe I do a better job when talking about the arguments of the controversy. Also, just like with my verbs, I think I could use more specific words to paint a clearer picture instead of the more general words that don’t do much for the illustration of the subject.