Editorial Report 15a

            For this blog post, we will examine the differences between my selection from rough cut and the rough cut. We will look at how both the content and form changed.

Selection from rough cut

Roughcut

1.     As we can see, there are quite a few things that changed between my first rough draft and the second rough draft. In terms of the content, my wording became more precise. I also went into detail that wasn’t necessary in the first rough draft. When we look at the rough cut, we see that the introduction of “Ben” is a bit shorter. This allows the audience to focus more on the changes that happened in my writing process. The increased focus allows the audience to better understand that the video essay will be about my writing process and not my childhood. Another thing that changed was my exclusion of examples. I talked about how teachers would criticize me for my writing because it was off topic. Ironically, this was off-topic itself and quite unnecessary.

2.     The form changed quite dramatically. If we just look at the background, we can see that I am now sitting on a chair in a study room. This helps present the content more effectively because it almost adds a college twist to the traditional bed-time-story. In movies, stories are told by actual fireplaces with an elderly gentleman with glasses. My story is told at the point of life that I’m in: college. I have a computer-generated fire and am in a study room. This helps the audience realize that I am in college and helps explain some of the ideas referenced throughout (such as how my writing process is and the procrastination that follows). Another way that the form of my introduction changed is that the video quality is quite a bit higher. This allows the audience to better visually examine how my outfit and the setting around me contributes to the introduction of my topic.