This
blog post will be directed towards my peer reviewers. I will discuss a few
strengths and weaknesses that my QRG has. This will (hopefully) help the
reviewer construct their suggestions. Here I my fine
cut.
1. There are a few things that I would like
anyone who reviews my draft to know. For one, please forgive any
spacing/grammar mistakes. Although all of my grammar should be correct, please
mind that this is still a draft before my final. Also, all hyperlinks should be
in order. Please check these to make sure they are working. If my citations for
the pictures seems off, please indicate that. I have looked over a few examples
of QRGs and they all seem to provide this general formatting.
2. One weakness that I am aware of is my
content. I wrote this paper to fit the format of a QRG. Not only do I mean that
I strictly followed the genre conventions, but I also only focused on this
aspect of my QRG. I kind of forgot, if you will, to include in depth content. I
did this because I know that an in depth analysis would not follow the
conventions of a QRG. With that being said, please let me know if my QRG needs
more content. Or, for that matter, deeper content (w/o sacrificing
conventions). Another weakness that I am aware of is my closing. I haven’t paid
much attention to it since I wrote it the first time, so I know that it needs a
little more revising. With that being said, can you let me know how much
revising I may need? How effective is my closing? Does it truly wrap up the
story and provide something for the audience to think about?
3. One strength to my QRG is my conventions.
I believe that I follow the conventions of a QRG quite well. My paragraphs are
relatively short and informative. They contain hyperlinks that provide a deeper
analysis on the topic that I address. My QRG also includes images to further the
discussion. If there is anything about my QRG that you don’t think is
consistent with a QRG, please inform me. Another strength my paper has is my
audience. The audience for my topic really only includes high scholars (and
perhaps parents). With that being said, my language/structure is very informal.
It is fairly easy to read and doesn’t appear to be lengthy or unexciting (at
least I think so). If you believe any of the above to be untrue, please let me
know.
I throughly enjoyed your essay! I think you made some very valid points about the faults with the new SAT format. I also thought your hyperlinks were very well placed. I just have a couple of suggestions for an otherwise great QRG.
ReplyDelete1) Although a QRG is a bit more casual than a Standard College Essay, I think some of the language you used could be a phrased a bit better. For example, when you are discussing the camps that are available for test prep, you refer to the attendees as "rich". I think it could be more eloquently phrased, perhaps using the word "affluent" instead.
2) I am rather confused on what you are trying to argue. Is it that the new SAT is a solution, but a bad solution? If so I think you could make it a bit more clear what you are arguing.
Hi!!
ReplyDeleteI am a little unclear about your stance on this. Obviously, you don't like the new SAT, but did you like the old one better? or do you want to get rid of the SAT entirely? what do you suggest should be done?
Also, I think I need a little more convincing why the new SAT is so terrible. You say it discriminates against the less well to do families who can't afford the prep classes, but didn't the old SAT also do that? Then you say that teachers have to change their teaching to prep kids for the SAT so it more accurately reflects high school material...why is this bad? One thing that you did really well is showing that Stats question with the statistics of which math classes are required in high school. This was a really good argument, where the test tests on things that people never took (I have never taken a stats class, personally). Overall, tighten up your stance on the argument and it will be much better!
Erica Mohr
Hey there! I think your QRG looks great! Here are some more suggestions I have for you http://kellyreager.blogspot.com/2016/04/peer-review-for-benjamen-meyer.html
ReplyDeleteHey Benjamen, I'm gonna do a review over the conventions you used in your QRG.
ReplyDeleteI first want to start off and say that you have a great start on your QRG. Your content looks mostly intact. There are some easy fixes you could do to make your QRG look more QRG-y.
Firstly, I would delete your indents. The indents make your QRG look too much as an essay, and it just looks awkward. All of the QRG examples do not use an indent.
Also, when you post an image to your QRG, I would use the actual source than your twitter account. This way, it looks more professional, and it looks better because it comes from the actual source.
Lastly, it would be better to put captions closer to the photo in a much smaller font. Also, making your photos hyperlinked makes the QRG feel much more alive.
Goodluck!
-Alec
Hi Benjamen! So I know I'm doing this peer review past the deadline of the project (sorry about that) but I need to do it in the interest of my blogs, so you can go ahead and disregard this:
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comment above about the indents. It gives it more of an essay feel. If you wanted to spice up the format a bit consider having images on the right, text on the left or vice versa. I would also consider adding a bit of color to your QRG. You have the right images and the right content, but something as simple as font change or background color can really make a QRG stand out. But great content! I feel like you've covered what you need to say well.